Thursday, October 8, 2009

Lesson from the Farm

I have learned many lessons from our farm. Seeing as we butchered 18 chickens this morning (and by "WE" I am meaning Eric and the children...), I thought I would state some of the things our chickens have taught me.

1) I have said it before, and I will say it again... Never name your chickens after missionaries. It is almost impossible to kill and eat Gladys Alward, Jim Elliot, or Hudson Taylor.

2) Naming your chickens after Narnia characters is equally difficult. Tyrian, Tumnus, or Mr. Beaver (who was a chicken), are also not edible.

3) Don't let the children buy their own chicks. They will remember they spent $1.50 on Mop and Duster, even if they are 5 years old, and no longer producing eggs.

4) Don't let them get a name at all... the puffy headed roosters named Vladimir and Poofin WILL be eaten, despite the intensely creative names. The killing of them WILL produce ovarian guilt, however.

If you don't know what ovarian guilt is, that is the guilt you feel as a mom when you insist that the chickens who have laid only TWO eggs in two months must ALL DIE. Even if they are special pets. Dads don't have ovarian guilt. Moms do. But a line must be drawn somewhere, and if we don't start getting some eggs... they will all die. Ovarian guilt or not... those two eggs have cost us about $50 each.

We were smarter with our cows... their names were Supper and Burger. Gotta remember their purpose, you know.


  1. The steer we raise each year is always named Dead Meat and our pigs have always been Pork Chop, Ham, or Bacon.

  2. Too funny. We had a steer one year when I was in high school. I called him bacon. Used to drive my dad nuts. I think maybe he wasn't sure if I knew what animal bacon really came from. I just wanted to always remember that he was a future meal.

  3. Those seem like prudent lessons to have if you have chickens:-)

  4. I am absolutely ROLLING!!

    I have experienced chickens too, and some of those rules apply to other... um, "edible" creatures as well.

    Not a bad idea to stick to names like
    "Dumpling" "Poppy seed chicken" "Jerky" or any of your favorite chicken dishes.

    Name your cows "hamburger" or "Pot Roast" etc.

    Keep that in the back of your mind for future reference;-)

    I feel pretty bad about your fifty dollar eggs. I never like looking at the things in that light!!
    I'm pretty sure our "free" Jersey calves were that kind of investment!!

  5. LOL! My boys named one of our roosters Yummy.

  6. We have some new names for your about Omelet, Eggs Benedict, Over Easy. How fun. My husband has been wanting to get chickens for years. We will definitely have to keep this in mind, if we get some.

  7. We never name our chickens either! You're so funny! Lisa~

  8. Okay...I'm the guilty one around here. We have 'Ladies' for eggs, also. However, if they aren't producing or past their prime - we usually find someone to give them to. They gladly take them, butcher them, and stew them. Me? How in the world could I cook one of the Ladies?

    We have only one chicken with an official name...Ms. Lillian. She is our youngest sons 4-H project, and she'll be with us until 'death (by natural cause) us do part'.

    I had to laugh at your thoughts, though!

    Blessings -
    (from HMM and HMS)