Wednesday, January 20, 2010

ReRun: What About Me?

A reminder I need for myself these days...


There are a lot of people who depend on me. From the minute I get up, until the minute I go to bed, and several times at night I am needed. I need to feed, train, disciple, and educate nine children. I need to help my husband. I need to manage my household.

Somehow in all this, I need to keep my sanity. Sometimes that’s really, really hard! The calling we have as wives and mothers is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Yet we are called to it. And if we are called, God will help us to do it.

Sometimes I feel that with everyone wanting a little bit of me, that there will be nothing left when they all leave the home and get out on their own. I feel sometimes that I am dissolving in the urgency of getting through the moment. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself… I so rarely have anything to do for me. It’s all about them.

Then I remind myself — of course it’s all about them. Well, really — it’s all about Him. It’s all about losing myself in Christ’s call on my life. Which is loving my husband and family. Serving them to the best of my abilities.

It’s not in getting some me time. Because they will all be there when I get home. The character issues which bothered me before will still bother me after my latte. The schoolwork I didn’t feel like grading will still be there on the other side of my day away. I have rarely found things easier with time away for me. It actually gets better when I stay home and concentrate on training the character issues which drive me batty.

My conclusion today is that it is hard to be a living sacrifice. It hurts to pour your lifeblood out in service to others. Our flesh cries out for relief from the pain of being patient while training them in righteousness.

But if God has called us to do it, then He will give us the strength to see it through. We have to be running in order to run and not faint.

I am not perfect. Many, many times my flesh wins out in the struggle. But sometimes — glorious sometimes — I win the battle and I hear God’s whisper of, “Well done. Keep going. You can do it.” And somehow I do.

If I can do it, you can too. God promises.

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